I discovered "The Secret" several years ago, in India. I realized that I could ask the universe for things and they would happen for me. I thought I was one of the few who could do it. I thought it was my dad helping me from beyond. I knew to appreciate when I got my way, and not to abuse and ask for frivolities.
I haven't seen the movie, but my understanding is that this is The Secret.
A few days ago, I voiced that I wish I could have just one night with my ex boyfriend. For us to be no-strings-attached, to just love each other, because we still do.
Last night, 3 minutes after he sent me an email saying he doesn't want me in his life anymore, I sent him a text. Casual text, but it led to us meeting up downtown, and going back to his place, and making love a lot of times.
i don't know if it was comfortable love, or if it's a we-truly-love-each other love...
Maybe it doesn't matter. But it was so nice to be in his arms, and to see that he is growing up, and that he's setting up his life in a way that he can be happy. We spent the day together, and went for breakfast. It was really nice.
I can't believe he lit a candle in the bedroom. He's never done that before, ever. Maturity.
After we parted, I saw his email saying he doesn't want me in his life anymore. He told me to ignore the email. I texted him to say I enjoyed myself last night, it's not just a lay for me, that I care about him, but that I can't give him what he wants, so he has to decide if it's good for him to see me.
We're so comfortable with each other. Given that i've been dating the most awkward man ever for the past 3 months (he won't brush his teeth in front of me), it was really nice to be open with my ex.
I wish my ex listened better. He talks a lot, and I'm interested, but I'm a really good listener and he talks too much. I want him to want to hear about me, and my day, and how I am. I want him to worry about me when something hits me in the eye at the bar and I literally can't see out of my left eye for 20 minutes. I want someone who knows that *I need to be taken care of, too, not just him* I need him to be an adult.
He's not there yet, but it looks like he's trying, and making progress.
We'll see what happens. He and I live close to one another now. I have to see what I'm going to do about this other thing on the side that I've got, and if I want to continue seeing that guy.
Anyway, it was very nice to see my ex again. It was special for us.
