So, my roommate left today. My new roommate doesn't move in for two days, so i get a nice break, and a chance to clean thoroughly.
My roommate who left today was bitter and angry until the bitter and angry end. I had to ask for my modem chord back and she was bitchy and snappy about it. She's just angry with me overall... I understand why, she felt betrayed by me and my lack of loyalty to her. And she's right, i did stop giving a shit about her, and her life. I chose not to be her friend when I realized she would lash out with no warning, was jealous, possessive, immature and insecure. She just wasn't up to par with what I look for in my friends. Maturity, I think, was the part lacking that led to most of the other parts lacking.
So it goes. Now she's gone, and effectively, I don't know her anymore.
In incredible news... the new guy and I are so head over heels for each other, it's incredible. I've never felt this way about someone. He's the first person I've ever been with that I can't predict when or why we'll break up. For the first time, it's like, "i guess we'll see where this goes." After a month of knowing each other, there's very little lacking for me in this man, which means I can't automatically figure out what's going to ultimately mean the end for us. I guess this is how a lot of people go into relationships, but not me. I'm always pessimistic.
He is going to Panama for a week today for work. On his way to the airport, he stopped by my apartment to say goodbye. As I came out, he pulled out the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I've ever received. Just gorgeous.. bright reds and oranges, very much my taste. I was absolutely floored that he did something so thoughtful when HE'S the one leaving town. They were, "Congratulations on having your psycho roommate move out *after many months of misery*" flowers. And also, I'm excited to see you when I get back flowers, I assume ;)
It feels like with this guy, I have found elements of most of the men I've dated before, all the good qualities, combined in a single person. What an incredible feeling. And maybe most importantly, he's equally thoughtful as was my very sweet ex-boyfriend, only, kind of more appropriately so, and with a whole bunch of extra great qualities. I never thought I'd meet someone as thoughtful as my ex. I'm lucky. I'm not sure why, though.
In any case... it feels different with this man. I like him in a way that makes me feel vulnerable. It's good for me, I think. And so far, I know the feeling is mutual.
