Ok, I'm being weird.
I've created a fake profile online so that I can see when the boat guy logs in so that I can see if he's blocked me from seeing him when he's online.
I looked up the definition of "stalking", and this does not qualify. However, I suspect if I looked up the definition of "insane", this *would* qualify.
I am an attractive, desirable woman, if I do say so myself. I have no shortage of friends or male attention. But damnit if I don't get absolutely ridiculous when a man decides he isn't interested in me (when I've decided I'm interested in him.) This happened with an old-interest called Mr. All-Semester. This happened with The Mexican. And this has happened with Pete. Both the first two have stayed in contact with me, and in the end, I have no interest in either of them. And I KNOW it would be that way with Pete too.... but since he chose to reject me first (oh! even the word "reject" kills my Leo pride!), I don't get the chance to choose not to like him. I'm too focussed on the fact that he wasn't into me.
And he totally WAS into me, the timing just didn't work. Namechange, a man can't want you when his heart was recently broken by someone else. YOU KNOW THIS. But still, I looked for his truck in the neighbourhood, I think about suggesting going for a beer with him (hopefully once I'm dating someone else), and now this online stalking thing. Jesus. It's really sick!
But I'm such a normal person in real life!! Why do I get so hung up on guys like this? Is it so hard for me to accept that a man I liked wasn't interested in pursuing something more with me? Am I really so fragile that I can't have that?
Ohwa-tana-syam.
