I've been feeling quite self-absorbed lately. It's been bothering me. I actually said a prayer about it last night in bed. It's rare that I pray, giving that I haven't decided if I believe someone is listening. But the thing is, a guy in my program has an ill mother. She's in Ethiopia. He's completely stressed about her condition, and I wanted to send him a support email letting him know that I'm thinking of him. I didn't know how to end the email, so I said he and his wife were in my thoughts and prayers. I think a little bit, I felt like since I told him that, I wanted it to be true. So I included him in my prayers.
I've actually been doing something I'm good at lately, in the form of emailing people. I am pretty good on a page, and while I get self-absorbed, I'm very empathic to people's pain. I've sent a few emails this week to people I thought might need it.
it was nice to hear back:
"Namechange, you were right, thank you for your time; that was the most amazing self affirming email I've read ever so thank you!"
and, "that was a most wonderful and comforting word that one can get from a friend at a time of distress. I felt really happy when I read your letter. It was really nice of you to write me this."
Today, at lunch, I asked a classmate how things are with her boyfriend. It was a casual question that got a most unexpected answer. She said, "It's not good. I don't think we're gonna make it." She adores her partner, but he's drinking and making decisions that suggest he wants to break up. This girl is so stoic about the whole thing, never bothering anyone with her problems, and just doing what she's supposed to do. This is exactly the opposite of me, wherein no matter what is going on in my life, everyone knows. I can't keep anything in, whether it's a break up, or just a really funny story about a blind date gone wrong. This girl started crying and said, "I'm just so tired of crying all the time." What a sad comment. I really hurt for her.
Anyway, i sent her an email just now to let her know I'm thinking of her. I was really nervous to send my first email to the guy with the sick mother. But I keep thinking to myself that quote, "Never be afraid to show someone you care." At the end of the day, I think it's really important.
