Friday night. Sitting at the computer. Doing a memo. Barf.
Dumped Pete. He was so badly behaved last night, and SO out of line so many times that it broke the camel's back. Any man who will behave like that doesn't deserve to know me. He apologized weakly for his behaviour, but he was way out of line. I told him to come get his stuff out of my freezer this weekend. If I'm feeling particularly pissy when he comes over, I might tell him off and hit some sensitive spots. I'm quite angry with him for last night.
Having said that... the Croatian's visit precipitated Pete getting the boot. Originally, I needed Pete to get me out of my ex-boyfriend's bed. I needed the Croatian to get me away from Pete. And now that Pete's done, I am hoping my ex-boyfriend will drunk text me tonight for sex (as he has done multiple times since we broke up.) Full-circle? Perhaps. A lack of ability to be alone? Perhaps.
(The only thing that stops me from accepting my ex's drunk sex texts is the thought of my jealous, judgmental roommate and her opinion about the whole thing. Basically, she needs to get fucked...she's turned into a bitchy toad whose every action screams "I need to get LAID!!")
I wonder, when did this happen? When did the lonely 20 year old university girl who "couldn't find a guy" turn into an online dater, a man-meeter, and a full on single woman?? When did I turn into my best friend, who ALWAYS has a new guy around? (My roommate called her the "Carrie Bradshaw of Vancouver".) I think it's good that I'm not my lonely roommate... but while I'm proud that I'm "out there", I wonder, when did the lone traveller in India become uncomfortable being by herself??
Because, I think that's what it is, a little bit. It's hard for me to be without a guy, or a potential guy, or someone calling me, or touching me... Is this a part of being a mid-20, urban dweller, or have I become someone I never thought possible?
Having said that... I did break up with my boyfriend when it stopped working. And I did get rid of selfish Pete within 3 weeks of it not working. (It bugs me that I put up with Pete for that long... I put up with him until I had other guy(s) to focus on... in this case, a few online men I'd like to meet for coffee.)
Anyway, I'm just navel-gazing. Maybe I haven't done enough of that lately. But tonight is not the night to do it. Tonight is memo-writing night.
