dear ex-boyfriend,
i really miss you right now. since we stopped communicating, i notice that my life is a lot quieter. the phone doesn't ring, my email isn't as interesting, my time is silent.
it's not always a bad thing. i do find i have more time to myself, more time to get things done; i'm much more focussed on my studies than i was before (i don't have to "fit you in" anymore.)
i wonder what would have happened to us had the comedy we went to see not been sold out. or had we not rented the break up instead. it was inevitable what happened, but it would have been postponed.
i feel like, if i miss you and find my life quiet, you must certainly miss me. i'm extremely busy with exams this week, and then i'll be in Cuba. but i guess your life goes on without me...with fewer distractions. (or maybe not. you've always got your friends to party and hang out with.)
i found myself wanting to sleep with you today. except that i didn't want to sleep with you who wants me. i just want to have sex.
i guess i don't really miss you so much as i miss having someone; someone to talk to; someone to be with, and to have somewhere to go. i was thinking that later this week, when my last exam of the term is over, it would have been really nice to go to your house to hang out.
except that maybe it wouldn't. because maybe i was getting bored with you, and wasn't seeking your company as much. you annoyed me a lot. and i think that made me less kind to you. which in turn had me snapping....and so on.
i just didn't love you. and you were falling further and further in love with me.
i do miss your company at times, though.
but it's good i ended it when i did. otherwise i would have been stringing you along.
take care for now,
wish me good luck in staying strong and knowing how to deal with this.
Namechange
