Jesus. I went to my mom's house on my way home from school to have her console me through this break up. She reminded me that no matter how badly I'm feeling, "he's feeling way worse."
And she's right. His pain is more.
I keep listening to Luba sing, "Storm before the Calm" I don't know why this is my 'break up song'.
I don't even think I knew I was capable of crying this much over this man. Or anyone. It's been a long, long time since I felt sad like this. God, I forgot how bad it feels.
And it's so much worse for him.
I just feel like throwing stuff. He sent me an angry email today... two lines, just a quick snip.
I wish I could talk to him. I was going to send him a short text saying .... i guess just that i'm really upset. I guess I thought that might help him, but my mom intercepted saying, "Don't do that. Leave him alone tonight. It's the first night. This is the worst. You can't give him what he needs." My mom's boyfriend agreed with this point.
I'll go put a movie in again. Fuck...this is very shitty.
