i think i'm in a relationship with the wrong person. or i am just expecting too much from the person i'm with. i have always sensed that i'm with someone I can't be with long term, but i at least thought we were ok in the mid-range...at least for this year.
but it's not good. we fight constantly. when i've said it feels like we fight a lot, he said he doesn't think so. (it's weird because the last guy i was with said the same thing....i thought he and i fought a lot, and he didn't think so).
i'm mad at him right now. we were argueing earlier today (and last night, and later today...) and i tried to end the conversation knowing we were NOT going to agree. he kept it going. the arguement escalated.
i'm going to the gym to burn off some of this anger.* turns out, the gym is closed sunday nights. fuck.
it was really bad yesterday. my roommate, my boyfriend and i were going for breakfast. in line, he and i started argueing/discussing. my roommate cut us off saying, "I used to date a guy like you, namechange. He used to say things just to pick fights." she was kind of laughing when she said it, but it was a little bad on the timing element. it made it a 2-against-1 feel... me being the 1. and later, my boyfriend pointed out that "even other people point out my stubborness..." meaning my roommate. but the thing is, i find my roommate EXTREMELY arguementative to the point that i don't tend to openly contradict her, and i find her to be a big know-it-all...which is what my boyfriend accuses me of being. so she made a bad intervention, in my opinion. and somewhat, she's motivated by jealousy of my being in a relationship when she has gone a very long time without someone in her life.
but anyway... my boyfriend and i were argueing today and the arguement continued. he decided to stick around at my place, said he'd come grocery shopping with me (where he was kind of a pain in the ass because it was so obvious he was bored..."hello, i didn't force you to come!"), got breakfast with me, then hung around longer. He decided to play golf today and said we should meet up later to study together. i said i wanted to prepare food for the week and stay at my place and that if he decided he didn't feel up to coming over later, not to worry. he looked upset that i'd even suggested that, and i felt guilty for saying he might not want to come over.
he got back from golf, we spoke on the phone, he sounded happy, i was happy to see him soon, he said he'd be over in an hour. about 45 minutes later, he sent a text message saying he thought about it during golf, he's upset that i disrespect him during arguments, and he doesn't want to come over tonight.
i'm flabbergasted by this because it's out of the blue. i'm pissed because i get accused of not saying when i'm upset, but then he spends all day with me, says he'll come over, and then sends a text to express himself and, "maybe we can meet up tomorrow". meet yourself tomorrow! i'm mad.
to the email!! this guy is going to hear what's on my mind!
