i just wrote an entry about being upset that my bf isn't hanging out tonight.
now he and his best friend are coming over to my house. his best friend got on the phone and TOTALLY disarmed me. this man scares me already, how fast-talking he is, and how he says the right things. he got on the line and said how he wants to meet the "love of [my boyfriend's] life". He said exactly what would disarm any woman. I don't know anything about this man, but already I fear him. He's smart. He's confident. He's rich. He has women falling over him (I've seen the email proof). And he's going to be nice to me because I'm his buddy's girlfriend. I'm curious to know what a guy like this would think of me if I weren't his buddy's girlfriend.
And fuck me! I got nervous after talking to him and grabbed a strong drink. I'm going to meet this smart, sexy, guy while HE'S sober, and I'm half in the bag!! Fuck me. It's kind of funny though.
The thing is, I feel unsure of myself meeting someone so confident. When I got back from India, I didn't feel unsure of myself with ANYONE. I knew who I was 100% so no one intimidated me. Slowly, that has changed. I tried to release my nerves by reading some headline news... you know, try to think about "bigger things" so as to make my nervousness incomparable. That didn't work very long because the booze started setting in. Now I'm typing this to sort through my thoughts, and to remember that my best defence against people who scare/threaten/intimidate me, is to be myself. I impress people by how real I am, and how much I come off as myself. No pretenses. I do real better than most people, because i do like who I am, and I am proud of what I've achieved. (I think ;-)
so I guess that's the thing. Just be myself with this guy and let it ride. People like me. Ok. That's my little pep-talk to self.
I think I'm sold.
Oh, and I'd like to mention that I am MORE nervous about meeting my bf's best friend than I was meeting his PARENTS!! Seriously. That's how much my bf loves this guy. Jesus.
