My boyfriend lost an easy tennis match yesterday. He used to be a highly ranked player in Canada so losing put him in an un-characteristically bad mood for the day. He was kind of snapping at me which I thought was partly to do with the fact that, (yet again), I wasn't going clubbing on a Saturday night. It's true... he LOVES clubbing, and we did it at the beginning of our relationship, but I don't like it much these days. I don't want to spend the money, get loaded, get hooched up... I'm just not into it. But I have NO PROBLEM with him going without me. He usually texts me sweet messages from the bar or comes over after when he's drunk. None of that happend tonight.
He was being curt with me on the phone earlier tonight. I knew he wanted me to go out, and was upset about his earlier tennis match, so I let his edgy tone of voice go, aside from asking "are you ok?" I suggested I'd do what I've done in the past: come over to his place to hang out before he and his friends hit the clubs, and just be waiting in bed for him when he gets back. Usually this works out, he comes home content and missing me, he gets into bed and we cuddle.
Tonight, he got home at 2:30am with 2 friends and started BLARING music, yelling, playing video games, and didn't shut the bedroom door as a courtesy to me. He didn't do anything as a courtesy to me. I waited a while then figured I wouldn't sleep for many hours if I stayed, so I snuck out (hoping he'd find his bed empty when he eventually stumbled into it) to catch a cab home. On the way out the door, however, I saw in his lobby that one of the big plants was kicked over. This was a fight between us the last time he did it because I was embarassed by his immature and destructive behaviour. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you get to kick over the plant for someone else to clean up. When I came downstairs to find the plant kicked over again, I felt disrespected. My boyfriend has a bad relationship with his mother in that she nags him constantly. In response to her nagging, he does things intentionally to upset her. I see him apply the same behaviour with me on occasion, but I'm not a nag like his mother. I'm a pretty chill girlfriend so if there's something as specific as not kicking over a plant (that turned into a fight in the past), I don't understand how the same behaviour was repeated a second time. I really feel personally attacked.
I did get a taxi home, which is where I am now. Cursing him. The problem with me is that I get over my anger very quickly even when it's justified. I think it's justified right now, but I'm worried I'll wake up in the morning and be less upset about my boyfriend's total lack of consideration.
