I texted my boyfriend that I love him.
That's right. I'm that big a chicken. I did it by t-e-x-t. (I acknowledged my chicken-shittedness.)
A song prompted it, after a text he'd written. He's coming over now, I'm scared shitless to face him after saying something so vulnerable. I feel queazy with nervousness. I was looking up a Sade song (I'm organizing my itunes) and saw one line at the bottom of my screen... the only words on the screen: "based on the reality of relationships rather than the idealistic/romantic notions..."
I have had trouble telling my boyfriend that I love him because I keep comparing my feelings for him to those I had for the Mexican. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months; I was "with" the Mexican in intervals and never in an actual real sense. It was illusory, in a sense.
I'm nervous. I know my boyfriend wants to come over, but I'm feeling really vulnerable.
Hindsight is Always 20/20 & The Future is All Hope
