This is the message I just left on my girlfriend's voicemail. See if you can detect tone:
"So... ok. It's not that he shouldn't have thought that. I just...I.. I'm just so THROWN that he would suggest, OUT LOUD, us living together! Oh God. We had a really good weekend this weekend, and we're very close right now. But Oh My God, throw me for a fucking loop! What part of "Girl scares easily" would make him think that it was a good idea to suggest US LIVING TOGETHER?!? oh my... Jesus! Oh! I'm not gonna concentrate tonight, I'm freaked out!"
So that's what happend tonight. Just now, in fact. My boyfriend and I, now nearing our 7th month of being together, had a really good weekend together. And we're doing really well overall. We get along like a house on fire. We're that cute couple that actually looks happy and likes eachother's company. We're great.
So of course, in my head, I've thought that maybe if things continue to go well, we could end up living together because we are young urbanites, and rent is high, and if you're a couple, it's a good idea financially to share a living space. (And we're both very financially-practical thinkers, if I can say that). So it's not a crazy idea that down the road, if things continue to go this well, we'd end up living together.
But oh my good god... I did NOT expect to hear it voiced at this point! He just got a huge tax return from the government, enough to consider putting a down-payment on a condo. And in one year, I'll be working full time in a career position and will most certainly not be living where I do right now.
I just don't understand why he would mention this now... especially when he knows I'm very. slow. about. making. a. commitment. It's nearly 7 months and I JUST left my toothbrush at his place this past weekend. And don't think I didn't notice the pleased little smile on his face when I did!
This won't change anything between us, it's not like this is such a crazy idea... I just can't believe this has been voiced to me. "We could maybe end up living together".
He knew as soon as he said it that it was a bit too far. I tried to maintain my voice composure and keep the conversation going, but I was shocked. He noticed and said, "Don't get freaked out", to which I answered, "Ok, I won't get freaked out". But I was completely freaked out.
God. I have a quiz tomorrow. I need to be thinking about something else. I just don't even know what to do with this.
I think what scares me almost the most is that I can definitely see this happening. A tiny part of me likes the idea of living with a boyfriend, and specifically, a part of me feels quite comfortable with him being someone i share my living space with. At the very least, he has lived with one girlfriend in the past, so he's been 'broken in' to some extent about how to live with a significant other.
I had one nail left that I hadn't chewed the hell out of. It's now throbbing where I've bitten it down to the quick.
